My Cozy Day + Good Recent Reads

Hey guys! I am currently listening to Partie Suite in G major - Sarabande. I've been on a Pachelbel kick lately. Canon in D will always be one of my favorites.

Right now, I am sitting on the couch by the window, under a cute blanket with fuzzy red socks on. This morning, I woke up around 8:30 (all on my own! I'm starting to get myself on a better sleep schedule) and read a New York Times Magazine article about veterans with PTSD working with parrots who have PTSD, and how they help each other heal. Parrots are very social creatures with one another, so when they are taken in as a pet, they become very bonded with their human owner. If they get abandoned by that human owner (which is apparently pretty common, since parrots have really long life spans) they can become emotionally damaged. So in one V.A. center, they have set up a type of therapy where veterans can go spend time with the parrots, feed them, clean their cages, etc. and the mutual support is beneficial to both human and parrot. It was an incredible read and I really recommend checking it out here.

It's going to snow tonight and the next couple days, so I took a walk this morning around 10 while it was still around 40 degrees. I'm actually excited for the snow this time, because I have my bus tickets and won't have to worry about driving. I'm going to spend my day doing homework and reading on the couch by the window, so that I can watch the gray sky and hopefully snow before it gets dark. If I finish my homework early enough, I may have a movie night, but my motivation has been pretty low this weekend so we'll see. 

After my walk, I came home and finished reading The Kite Runner. It was a really good book! It was like one depressing event after another, but I still enjoyed reading it. A good read for those interested in family issues or guilt and shame. Personally, I don't think it lived up to the hype, but I still recommend it. 

Another good book I've read lately is I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings. It was the first thing by Maya Angelou I've ever read; I felt that it started off pretty slow, and I didn't get into it at first, but by the time I reached the middle I was sucked in. It's even more amazing to think about the fact that it's an autobiography. This book has definitely been added to my favorites list.

I'm going to try and get all of my history homework done in one sitting - we'll see how that goes, lol. 

"Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it." - Helen Keller

Hardworking Habits

Hi!! I am currently listening to Believa by Raelee Nikole. Her Answers album is so cute! She came up on my spotify discover page and I am so glad that she did.

I'm sitting in bed with my cinnamon-nutmeg-honey face mask on and french toast candle lit. I'm feeling very at peace. After I finish this blog post, I'll be getting back to my homework. Only the first week of the semester and I already feel behind on the readings! (I'm actually not behind at all, but with so many pages assigned in each class it sure feels like it.)

I've always thought of myself as a hardworking student, good in school and dedicated to my studies. That's mostly because I enjoy school and learning so much. But after some thought, I've realized I've never really worked all that hard in school. In high school I didn't have a plan, so I didn't feel pressured to take difficult classes or the SAT, and since I was going to a community college I didn't need to worry about college applications. And I've always been smart enough to get through normal high school classes without studying. None of that is a problem by itself, but as a result I've found that I don't really know how to work very hard with school, despite my love for it.

My history teacher was telling us that being a good student is about making sacrifices. I don't think I've ever had to sacrifice anything for school, besides time during classes and money (ugh). He went on to explain that the best way to study is to set up certain blocks of your day dedicated to only schoolwork. I've never done that. I get schoolwork done whenever I find myself with free time. If someone asks me to hang out, I never say, "Sorry, I cant; I have to study" or "Maybe another night, I need to finish this essay." I go out, and then do schoolwork when I get back or the next day. Luckily, since I just moved here, my social life hasn't been so crazy that I go out every day; but it's still a bad habit. I wasn't even home the night before my Fall finals! I ended up getting around three or four hours of sleep that night. I passed all my finals anyway (I studied relentlessly for a couple weeks before them thankfully), but that day did show me that school has not been my priority. It's an odd realization, because it feels like school is all I'm doing.

So I'm going to make school my first priority this year. I got away with everything last semester, because I had less classes and they were more basic, but I can already tell I will be busy pretty much every day now. A lot of people tell me it's unrealistic and not what I should focus on, but I really want to keep my 4.0 for as long as possible. That's going to take a lot of work haha. But I want to do it - I mean, I want to either be a neuropsychologist or a history/sociology professor. Both will require PhDs (in order to have job security and a good salary), and that's going to take a lot of work too! I need to get used to hard work now, or else I won't get out of my bad habits.

So this year I will keep up and hopefully even get ahead with the readings. I will take notes on the book, the powerpoints, and the lectures, and I'll rewrite them. I'll go to class every day (unless something crazy happens) and pay attention to the lectures - four of my five classes are extremely interesting to me, so that one shouldn't be too hard. I'm going to set up a study schedule and actually stick with it. If somebody asks me to hang out during my designated study time, I'll ask them to either wait or ask me another day. I'm going to limit my distractions - I've already deleted a couple of my social media apps and have decreased my use of others.

I want to be an intelligent person, one who is educated and knowledgeable about her areas of specialty. I want to be confident in my writing and thinking. I want to achieve some of this by doing well in school, by working hard and developing good habits. And the only way to develop a good habit is to simply do it.

"Stop acting so small. You are the universe in ecstatic motion." - Rumi

Random Thought

I cry more from happiness than sadness. Especially during movies.

How I Cheer Myself Up

Hi guys! I'm currently listening to Darling by MAX. It's such a cute song!!

I walked to the library and am feeling very peaceful surrounded by books and sitting next to a big window, looking at the trees and snow on the ground. So I decided to make a list about things that are always sure to turn my mood around :)

HOWEVER attitude is always the biggest factor in whether I cheer up or not. If I go through all these with a bad attitude, keeping my negative thoughts and dwelling on the bad, then I will never be happy. A good attitude goes with all of these!

• Take a shower. I got some bad news the other day, and the first thing I did was get in the shower, despite having showered an hour before. It was more of a reflex than anything - I even washed my hair with hot water, which was very bad for my purple, but it made me feel a thousand times better. Showers just help with everything, whether it's feeling sad, lazy, angry, lost, or something in between. Letting go and crying my eyes out in the shower is the most cleansing thing I can do! Haha. Because once I get out, I feel like my head is more clear and I'm more ready to take on whatever is bothering me. I read a post on tumblr once saying that when you're upset, you should allow yourself one shower of self-pity and anger, and then once you get out it's time to get yourself together. It's very helpful advice. If you can't shower, just washing your face can be reaaaally helpful too! 
• Belt it out. I've calmed down a lot, but in middle school and high school I was a very angry person. It didn't take much to get myself in a bad mood, but I could always get the crazy bursting hormonal shit out of my head by singing very loudly to already loud songs. I'm sure I drove the neighbours and my family crazy multiple times haha. I've found it can help with sadness too, so I like to sing along to emotional songs when I'm home alone or when I'm out driving. I don't recommend driving if you're feeling too emotional or if you'll be crying, but taking a drive and turning up the radio is a good way to get pent up negative energy out, at least for a little while.
• Get out of the house. Getting dressed, putting on makeup, and going out, even if just to the library or downtown or Walmart, can make me feel more together and remind me to go on with my life. It also increases my self-confidence to be dressed and out and about. 
• Go on a walk. Kinda related to the last one, but sometimes it's nice to grab your headphones and go on a walk with no real destination. Jogging is also good, but I like to walk slowly sometimes and take the time to look at every tree and house and dog. Like I mentioned in a previous post, I get most of my good energy from nature, so taking the time to be outdoors without rushing to get somewhere can be crucial to my well-being.
• Vent about it. I like to write about my negative feelings on a piece of paper, then throw it away so that I can't dwell on it. I also like to vent to people - calling my mom is my go-to, and texting or facetiming friends makes me feel a lot better too. I must say, ranting face to face with someone can be the best thing in the world, if you're met with empathy and acceptance. Ranting to strangers is great too, like someone you just met. Because after you rant, you can be on your way and never call them again.

Tbh I'm bored of writing so I may make a part two someday! Lol

"Every moment you live in the past is a moment you waste in the present." - Tony Robbins

Happy Things!

I'm currently listening to All That I Am by Parachute because they came up as recommended on spotify.

Here are some things that make me happy! Inspired by Michelle at What Sweet Joy!

• New music
• Parks and Rec
• Drinking a lot of water
• Oscar, Nacho, and Buddy! (My fish, my dog, and my grandma's dog)
• Long car drives
• Flowers
• Flowy, comfortable dresses
• Reading lots of books in a short time period
• Talking to my mom
• Green! Especially in nature
• Waking up early and actually feeling awake
• Making pretty notes for school
• Learning about anything at all
• Museums!
• My shelves next to my bed
• Nice smelling lotion
• Pizza in bed
• Rain!!!!!!!!!!!
• When there's snow on the sidewalks and not the street
• When there's no snow at all
• Thinking about the future
• Mushrooms and onions
• Cute acoustic love songs
• San Francisco
• Little shops
• Poetry
• Being busy
• Quotes
• Ed Sheeran
• Psychology
• Potted plants on a windowsill on a cloudy day
• CLOUDY DAYS
• Cuddling
• My little cousins
• When my room is clean
• Animals
• Big hoodies
• Lots of colors
• Lots of light, especially natural light

"Give beauty all her right! / She's not to one form tied" - Thomas Campion

Adapt Adapt Adapt

I am currently listening to Tori Kelly. If you don't listen to her already, I highly recommend her! She has an amazing voice and absolutely fantastic hair.

I am starting to accept the fact that I am not in control of life but I am in control of myself. I used to aim to take control of my own life; I now know that it is not possible to control events and certain circumstances, but I can control my reaction and therefore my perception of my own life. I may never go to UC Berkeley and then move to Paris to become a well-known neuropsychologist and polyglot, but I can still be an extremely happy person. I just need to be able to adapt to different situations and make the most out of the smallest things that life hands me.

You can't control tragedy. I may lose one or both of my parents. I may get into an accident and become paralyzed. I may never have a child, or my house may burn down, or I may lose one of my senses. But experiencing tragedies does not mean your entire life is a tragedy. Even if one or all of these things happen, I can adapt and continue to be a happy person, just not in the way that I once envisioned for myself. And that's okay! Even if it seems impossible, you can always adapt to the circumstances and remain loving and full of life.

Life is an extremely precious thing, but also fragile. Humans are fragile creatures. But I truly believe that if you stay determined and appreciative of the little things, you will be able to overcome all barriers and keep loving your life. I will do this by letting go of my illusions of having any control over life whatsoever, and then accepting full responsibility for my reactions and thoughts.

"If your own mental attitude is correct, even if you remain in a hostile atmosphere, you feel happy." - Dalai Lama 

Meet Oscar!

I am currently listening to Everybody's In by Lena Fayre, because it came up in a Spotify playlist.

Meet Oscar Api!! He's my new betta fish that my boyfriend and I bought yesterday :) My boyfriend came up with the name Oscar. He later changed his mind and said it's a bad name haha but I liked it so I stuck with it. His middle name is Api because it means fire in Indonesian (we looked it up in a bunch of different languages and this was the cutest one), and he's red.

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." - Albert Einstein

My Morning

Good morning! I'm not listening to anything right now except the dryer haha.


I woke up to snow this morning! I love just watching it fall. I woke up at 9 but got out of bed at 10 (I'm not supposed to do this anymore!!) and went upstairs to stretch. Made a couple eggs for breakfast, started some laundry, and shoveled snow outside. 

Now I'm sitting downstairs next to the window. I heated up some milk and put in a pump of cinnamon dolce syrup from Starbucks, since I don't have a latte machine. I'm planning on spending the next couple hours eating some vegetables, getting my planner started again, and watching Downton Abbey (last season, noooo!). I'll try and read for a bit too. Right now the snow is not too bad, so hopefully my boyfriend and I can go get my fish today! I'm really excited.


"Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion." - Georg Wilhelm

How I Want To Be

"She loves life more than anyone I've ever known. I hope she doesn't mind me telling you this, but recently she's had some health problems. And her health got so bad at one point, she called me and said: 'I was starting to wonder if there was any reason to go on. But then I had the most delicious pear!'" - Humans of New York 

Miscellaneous Goals

Hi! I am currently listening to my "soft and sleepy" playlist to get myself ready for bed. The song playing right now is Rise & Fall by Craig David. Slicker Than Your Average is a great album. 

Here are some random goals that I have. I'll try to post updates on my progress with them.

• Drink water right after waking up
• Read at least one book a month (but definitely try for more if school allows)
• Spend less than $75 a month, including for food 
• Write in journal daily or every other day
• Get more comfortable with the snow
• Eat healthier! Seriously! Only healthy snacks! 
• Start eating less meat but find protein substitutions!
• Take advantage of free gym membership at school
• Stop telling people so much about myself
• Wash face twice a day and use face mask at least once every couple weeks, no exceptions

"It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about." - Dale Carnegie

Morning Goals

Good morning! I am currently listening to the rain and Colorful Way by Sofia. She came up on my discover page on spotify and the songs are really happy and cute. Combined with the rain, it is perfect for starting my day!

Morning is my favorite time of the day, if I can wake up for it. For one thing, I love being awake when the sun is just rising - I don't know why, I just feel very peaceful and together in the morning light. For another, waking up early makes my day feel much more productive and makes me feel like I actually have enough hours in the day to do what I need. Which is strange, because I actually do more schoolwork and studying at night; but still, I take more positive energy from the morning hours than from the evening.

For the most part, I've lived my entire life without doing much in the morning, and I've been fine. However, I do want to start a morning routine with things to start off my day right and hopefully help carry my peace and positivity with me until I go to bed at night.

#1. Firstly, I want to start waking up at 7am every day. This is a big part in me wanting a more consistent sleep schedule, especially when going from schoolday to weekend or vice versa. I want to get to the point where I can wake up at the same time without an alarm. I think it's good to wake up early on weekends not just because it keeps you on track for the rest of the week, but because it can help you be more productive and do more with your time, whether that's studying, errands, time with family, etc. Not to say that a day of doing nothing is bad! I think occasional break days where you just sit and watch netflix or read books all day can be really beneficial to your mental and physical health - but only on occasion and not every weekend, which I can be guilty of sometimes.

#2. When I first wake up, I want to stop grabbing my phone and going on social media right away. I'll keep checking it for messages when I wake up, but I've gotten myself in the habit of laying in bed and going on twitter or tumblr for a while. More often than not, it starts my day with negative energy, because I'll either see something annoying or I'll stay in bed longer than I should. On days where I have nothing planned, I've been known to stay in bed for four hours or more, just playing on my phone. That is really bad for my day! Staying in bed too long makes me feel more tired and lazy, and makes it harder to eventually get up. I want to cut back on my social media use in general, so hopefully this one won't be too difficult after a while.

#3. I usually pray during the day or at night, but I want to start doing it in the morning. Actively trying to recount things that I'm grateful for always switches my mood around, and doing so in the morning will hopefully keep those things in mind throughout the day.

#4. Recently, I've been stretching in the mornings after waking up. It's really simple stretching, and I only stretch my legs, so I want to expand on that and get a real routine where I stretch my entire body; I need to look up good stretches on the internet to make sure I do it right. I want to start doing yoga, so this will be really important to me. I'm not flexible AT ALL, and I've tried yoga in the past and I just wasn't ready physically for it, so I'm going to start preparing myself and hopefully by summer I'll be in a yoga class or just doing it myself.

#5. I also want to start meditating again, so I will be doing that in the morning as well, probably after stretching and eventually yoga.

#6. Next up: natural light! I'm a BIG fan of natural light, haha. I personally get my energy from nature and being outside (believe it or not) so natural light has always been the most beneficial for me. I love big windows and lots of light in the morning to make me feel more awake. Unfortunately for this, I'm currently living in a basement! So I want to start going upstairs to the living room to do my stretches and meditation, because my grandma usually stays on the top floor so it will still be peaceful quiet time.

#7. If you know me, you know that I'm chronically running late for everything. Even if I wake up three hours early, I'll most likely be rushing out the door a few minutes after I'm supposed to leave. For some reason, time just gets away from me in the morning, no matter how many times I glance at the clock. So adding yoga and meditation to my routine will probably make me even more late. To combat this, I want to start getting things ready the night before, so that in the morning I'm not rushing to get my snacks or bag ready. #2 will also help with this.

Even if you're not a morning person (which is completely understandable, there are plenty of days that I'm not either which will make sticking to this routine more difficult), I really encourage you to at least surround yourself with positivity in the morning in order to give you a good start to the day. Just listening to your favorite music right after waking up and letting some natural light in can help mornings be bearable.

"If you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely." - Roald Dahl

Things To Work On

Hi! This is my first blog post :) I'm currently listening to the Breakthrough album by Colbie Caillat. She always calms me down and makes me happy with her joyful melodies and pretty voice. 

I started this blog for a few reasons - my friend Michelle has one, so my other friend Sierra and I decided to make our own too. I have a lot of thoughts and ideas in my head that I'd love to put out there. Mostly, I think I'll use this blog to help me find my peace, both with life and with myself. I love life and find the truest joy in the small things, but I think I need to learn how to better accept circumstances that I have no control over, and to find the good in the bad. In addition, I want to learn more about myself in order to better understand everything around me. I want to be content with who I am and who I am not. 

I decided to start things off with some of my goals for the upcoming year. While I try to work on myself year-round, I think New Years is a great time to evaluate yourself and find some new ways to improve. And personally, I'm always very motivated after a break filled with holidays and relaxation. 

One of my resolutions is to journal more - I'm very sporadic with diaries and so I want to become more consistent, not only to improve my writing but because I think it is very beneficial to self-awareness. I think this blog will help with that! 

Another resolution is to pay more attention to my physical health. It is definitely something I prefer to overlook, because I don't want to stop eating my favorite foods and I always end up despising exercising. Despite my reluctance, I've been forced to accept the fact that I will never be mentally healthy if I am not physically healthy. For one thing, I do care about my body, and I am not as happy when I'm not satisfied with my appearance or my strength. Exercising and eating healthy keeps you looking good, but it also keeps you feeling good. I know that jogging (ugh I hate it so much) helps when stressed or tense, so I want to keep that up this year if it isn't too cold outside. 

My last major resolution is to work on being better in social situations. I did get out of my comfort zone this last semester, but unfortunately that was more with boys than with people in general. I didn't end up with any friends in Colorado besides my boyfriend (I had a couple during the semester, but they didn't last), and I want to change that. I'm going to try to be more involved with things, which is hard when in community college, but nothing will ever come my way if I don't put myself out there. Things to improve are my conversation skills and my shyness. I've never been as good with having friends, but I'm tired of feeling sorry for myself and never working to improve that! I'll never reach my full potential if I continue to feel insecure and unaccepted around my peers. And to be honest, it gets lonely watching other people with their best friends and groups. Time to confront this negative feeling! 

"Know Thyself. It's good advice. Know yourself. You are worth knowing. Examine your life. The unexamined life is not worth living... Life the best life you can, and become the best self you can." - Jo Walton, The Just City